Nurturing environments foster psychological flexibility. People are not rigidly attached to their beliefs and so are tolerant of the things other people do. They are clear about their values and act in the service of those values, even when doing so feels difficult or frustrating. They tend not to criticize or complain about other people’s behavior. Because they are less judgmental, they are less likely to punish or hurt others and more likely to praise, support, attend to, and care for others.
The best example I can think of is the patient mothering of an infant. I watch my daughter-in-law Jen with her five month old infant, Ashlyn. Ashlyn cries frequently and lately has been hard to get to sleep. Jen certainly feels frustration at times. But although she sometimes feels impatient, she continues to be soothing. Thanks to her patient teaching, every day Ashlyn develops new behaviors that are alternatives to being distressed.